A friend of mine who shall remain nameless let me post this work of his:

There are really only 10 stories in Michiana:

1. The Schools are Broke
2. Someone is Raising Taxes
3. It’s Fat Tuesday: Eat your Paczki
4. Company ‘X’ is closing.
5. Company ‘X’ is opening.
6. You’re Going to Die
7. You’ve Already Died
8. Did the Groundhog see his shadow?
9. Something Is on Fire
10. Water Skiing Squirrel is in Town

Original link: http://funkatron.livejournal.com/135938.html